Let it all out

De cem ber.

2011-12-09T02:24:00.001-08:00

Hi everyone. Oh wait, it's just me here. So now's December. My favourite month of the year. So many celebrations. And holidays! :D
The bad news is, there's only a few days left till my next sem starts.
Not trying to be pessimistic but I kinda hate the campus in PJ. Scares the shit outta me. But atleast it's close to home. And let's hope that I'll get to go back whenever I want cuz seriously, I don't think I can't stand livin in that old building. The rooms are okay. It's the toilet that I can't accept. Oh well. Enough of me whining.
So resolutions.
I don't really know. Be more serious I guess? With myself and other ppl too. I hope I don't get distracted easily as I was during the first sem. That caused me poor grades and it sucked.
Other than that, my life's going on pretty well and I don't need anything else.... Except for a maid? House chores are killing me. Especially when you have a 15 year old sister who refuses to help anything around the house -.-
Well, that's the end of it I guess.
Adios muchachos.

Insecurities

2011-11-08T07:57:00.000-08:00

Rockaway Fest 2011

2011-10-09T11:31:00.000-07:00

Finally dapat type in a well-functioned, syok-to-type punya computer.

Before this asyik on mobile je konon nak bajet busy sangat lah.

So this post will be fully in Manglish sebab it's late already and I don't have time to fikir pasal my grammar and stuffs (to hell with it)

So yeah semalam baru terbukak mata yang local bands--- Made in Malaysia-- memang power mower. Memang terbaik gila lah, dari tak-minat-sangat screamo jadi minat-lah-jugak sebab Massacre Conspiracy was gila awesome yesterday memang thumbs up (kaki dan tangan)

Oh and I volunteered to help out during the festival yesterday memang syiokkk habis la.

New experiences. Tengok org kena maki kaw kaw depan muka was (kurang ajar lah kalau aku cakap amazing tapi agak memberangsangkan minda untuk fungsi lebih sempurna) weird.

So hasrat sebenar pergi sana was to watch All Time Low.

and gosh they were awesome, played songs yang memang dekat di hati ku

But apparently there were some problems during their show both technical and not-technical

they won't be coming again next year kot :B entahlah.

Met really cool people yesterday. Hope to meet 'em again soon.

This is typical me, selalu stuck at the end of everything.

Rasa macam tak reti je nak buat closing untuk apa pe.

Sebenarnya banyak lagi nak update tapi kena tidur sebab mata dah kuyu sangat

Itu je la kot (?) There's more to come

An end to a new beginning

2011-10-03T10:20:00.001-07:00

It's the end of my first semester in CFS IIUM Nilai. All in all, it was a big of a challenge, coping up with the first intake students, the torture of trying to find classes, waking up early and not being able to sleep at night etc.
It was worth it though. Now I just have to wait for the results.
Truth be told, I did have some problems with my lecturer. But I don't really think it's my problem, it's more to her not being able to accept the fact that cheating happens once in awhile during quizzes.
So stop acting like a little baby. Not cool bro.

Tomorrow my sister will be sitting for her PMR, I can tell by the look from her face she's really really nervous. Oh well. Gemuruh.
Well, that's all for now.

xx

At the top of my lung in my arms,

2011-09-27T10:58:00.000-07:00

This week is Exam week.

Finally it's here. The semester break is just around the corner.

What are you waiting for? Time to have fun.

But this week I'm feeling a lil' bit left out from my so called uni life.

I tend to be very moody,tired and sleepy.

I just don't feel like hanging around people.

Alone. That's what I'm looking for.

But this isn't the right place to do so.

Hence, sleeping answers my prayers.

When I'm asleep, I'm in my own world. Away from everyone.

Heaven. My own heaven on earth.

Not that I don't like my friends or whatsoever.

They're like my own brothers and sisters.

Very caring, makes me laugh etc.

I'm still trying to sink it all in.

Getting use with the environment.

So, that's it.

I guess I really needed a place to let it all out (how cliche)

Don't like to tell stories but everyone have their own.

Whether they want to share it or not, it's in their hands.

Whatever it is, just smile and know that every single thing has a fullstop at the end.

Even life. I'm learning to be thankful.

Day by day, problems comes to you like tsunami.

When you're in that kind of situation, it makes you stronger.

To be thankful is to live life to its fullest.

Alhamdulillah.

The pressure

2011-09-12T12:36:00.001-07:00

So I'm in IIUM now, and I know, it's been quite sometime since I've updated my blog.
So in two more weeks I'll be sitting for my finals and trust me, it ain't good.
This week, our schedule is so packed I don't even think we have the time to sleep. Nahh, I kid. We're allowed to sleep. It's just that when you have someone who expects a lot from you, it kills you inside to just think about how big of a disappointment you might be to them when you failed. Gah.
I seriously am not ready for this.
I thought I was. But life's life.
We have to learn living with its pros and cons.
So today I have three tests.
Just finished studying.
Wish me luck guys.

xx.

My dad

2011-09-10T23:21:00.001-07:00

While we were in a rush and arguing who's gonna iron all our baju kurungs, a saviour came and said "Biar Abah gosokkan..." We were all so happy. Then he added "... tapi next year lah abah gosokkan" K......... Thanks for the help bah..

Malaysia 2.0 ?

2011-07-09T12:03:00.000-07:00

What's up people?
Nothing.. Nothing. Yeah nothing. NOTHING?? HAVEN'T YOU BEEN WATCHING THE NEWS.

So yeah, Bersih 2.0.
Don't really want to talk about it, but I feel, as a Malaysian, I really need to say something about this eventhough only 0.00000000000000005% of people would read this.

This morning, I couldn't go out because there's massive traffic jams everywhere.
Roads were closed. Roadblocks everywhere. Etc.
Shops were closed. And KL was literally being shut down for the day.
No cars were allowed to go in and out of our dearest Kuala Lumpur.
It sucked. Today sucked. For me.

Then, I heard that all the politicians involved were being arrested by the police.
That wasn't the highlight of my day, but it did gave me a sense of relief.

Then, after everything seemed calmed, I went out for a movie.
The highlight of my apathetic day.

Got back home, turned on the laptop and curiously reads all the tweets with #bersihstories hashtag on twitter.
Saw a picture of an old lady supporting Bersih.
Sadly, she was chased out inhumanely, or atleast that is what they said.

Well, this is my point of view.
If I was one of the police, I'd ask the lady to leave the place immediately as it is not suitable for her to be there.
But then, some people had to say that this lady was treated inhumanely.
I don't really like to use the word.
But from the picture, all I could see is that she had a bottle of mineral water in her hand while holding two sunflowers.
And she was wet. Because of the rain.
Something that God created. Not the government.
So where can we spot "inhumanely" in the picture?
I don't see anyone cuffing her hands or doing anything to hurt her.

Why can't we just appreciate Malaysia just the way it is.
I wonder what Tunku Abdul Rahman would say if he was still alive.
All their hardwork and sacrifices to gain independence were being paid by this.
It's really sad.

Singing songs.

2011-06-14T02:43:00.000-07:00

Wow, hey.
I guess that's a nice way to start writing again. Been quite some time.
Last time I updated my blog just to let you guys know that I'm going to apply for a Job Vacancy.
It's been 2 months plus since I've worked at Krista Kindergarten.
As a teacher of course.
The kids are awesome. Very welcoming. And so are the teachers.
Now, I'm updating my blog to let you guys know how nervous I am about this e-rayuan thingy. I don't even feel like taking a peep at it anymore.
Guess I gave up. Only 15% parts of me have given up. But still.
I'm tired. Just now, I received a phone call from UIA.
Lagi lah nervous. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

So last two weeks were school holidays, as usual, the teachers have off-day too.
AHHHH THE BENEFITS OF BEING A TEACHER.
Eventhough it's only for a week, I'm still so grateful.
Went out with the teachers during the first week.
Watched Kungfu Panda 2. Haha. It was fun.
Met Qilah. Missed her so badly.
I wonder how she's doing.
At this exact time last year, I was busy ZZZZZZZZ-ing in my Biology class.
I missed school. NGEHEHEHEH.

Anyways, I'm gonna put a fullstop right here.
Will update my blog real soon.

formspring.me

2011-06-14T02:40:00.001-07:00

HAIHELLO http://formspring.me/namirayaxxid

18181818181818181818

2011-04-11T11:04:00.000-07:00

When life seems to be too perfect, you know something's not right.
Everytime I had/have fun, something, I don't know, bad, automatically follows me from behind. Ceh, automatically (sounds technicallish)
Okay so last week [weekend to be exact] I had the best weekend ever.
I don't mean to brag but I did have loads of fun.
Not to mention two good friends of mine [Azimie & Shaza] turning old in the same week.
And like a match-made from heaven they are together now.
What a great night.
My girlfriend drove all the way from Subang to KD and from KD to Subang at night.
What an experience.

So yeah. Let's stop it right there.
Don't want to talk about it anymore.

So tomorrow, I'm going to a kindergarten near my house.
They said they have a job vacancy for me.
I hope it involves teaching.
It's different when you're teaching little kids.
They have different imagination compared to the kids in primary school.
Kids nowadays grow up so fast.
You can't even see it.

My younger years was totally different than my sister's.
When I was in sec 3, we were all too busy laughing our asses off.
Ran around the school. Main sorok sorok bag, all those kid stuff.
But now, they don't do that anymore.
They're all too busy having 'relationship problems' 'dramas' etc.
Gosh. If I were in sec 3 right now, I'd dance all night long instead of dealing with problems.
I don't know. Maybe they're all matured enough already.
Unlike me.
I'm almost 18 now but I never ever ever want to grow up.
Wish I could just let everything fall back and hang loose.

But it's not the time to play around anymore.
It's time to get serious.
I must be a sensible adult or else I won't be a good example for my sibs.
Ceh. I was never a good example pun.
Now my sis is taking over my hobby which is, skipping school. Ahah.
What an example.

Oh well, that's all for tonight.

If I'm not lazy, I may be doing a Vlog tomorrow. InsyaAllah.

I don't want you to give it all up and leave your own life collecting dust

2011-04-09T11:47:00.000-07:00

It's APRIL 10th. TEN. TEN. 10.
Grr. So far, everything seems alright.
Nothing to complain about when you have amazing people surrounding you.
Wait, I think I've already mention this. Whatever.
It's my blog so I have the rights to repeat anything.
And now, I'll waste five seconds of my life by saying the most over-used quote now,
KITA BAKO JE.

SO last Friday, we went down and dirty at KLCC. ( I kid. But we were sweaty though )
Me, Azalia, Azrain and their cousin Nazmi arrived at KLCC around 3 or 4 I guess.
Then we ate at the food gardens and I bumped into Shira.
For the 100th time I guess. Never really get to hangout with her yet.
So then we met Azalia's aunt and grab them FANZONE passes.
Met with Sya and her friends later.
We went in around 7 something and waited and waited and waited.
First, it was Yuna. She did a really good job covering Amy Winehouse's Rehab.
And her other songs were fantastic too. Now Gadis Semasa is stuck in my head.
Then it was The Azenders/ Bunkface[last performance which I find it to be really devastating since they're so awesome together but wth, Sam's in Azenders now so it's not such a loss actually]. They were really awesome. Like really awesome.
And then it was Wonder Girls' turn.
Everybody danced happily and sang every single words to their song.
I don't think they even know what the song means. :P
Anyhoos, I was there, arm-crossed waiting for Hoobastank.
After they have finished performing, Prem from FlyFM invited a DJ from TraxxFM to give us something to jam to while we're waiting for Hoobastank.
And yes, me and Azalia get pushed around so many time.
But we didn't give in though. Instead, we pushed them back. HA.
So then, after 30 mins or so, them Hoobastank came out!!!! [OMG]
I forgot the title of the song that they opened with but it rocked.
Every single song rocks.
When they performed "The Reason", I had no voice left to sing with 'em but still, I tried my very best to sing the chorus.
And the best part was, he was standing right in front of us when he sang the song. <3
THAT WAS THE BEST PART.
It was almost one and they were still performing, Same Direction, My Turn etc.
The last song that Doug sang was Crawling In The Dark. <3 <3 <3
Not to mention there were fireworks at the end of their performance.
Gosh, the night was perfect.
Everything was perfect, I was at the second row with my bestfriend watching our favourite band performing live.
The only thing that ruined the night was the fact that people infront of me was taller so I had quite a hard time to see Doug's adorable smile.
But I swear there was this one part where he looked at me and smiled. GOSH.
Wish I could record it and play it over and over again.

I know no one reads my blog.
But if you are reading this post right now, no matter who you are, my friend, a stalker or even my hater [ if I have any and I don't think I have any because orang hot je ada hater :P], I'd appreciate it if you guys show me some love by leaving ANYTHING at my formspring account.
And, I love you guys!
So that was totally out of topic. :/

It's 3:12 AM now.
I guess I'll be hitting/ punching/ wrestling the sack now.
Hope I can make it to Sepang tomorrow.
Good Night.

There's so many things I'll never know

2011-04-07T13:45:00.000-07:00

Hey, it's been awhile. I know.
So life's been pretty plain after the 'worst' part is over.
My results were surprisingly okay.
I'm thankful for that. Alhamdulillah.

So now I'm in the midst of looking for job.
But it never happened.
Everytime I see a Job Vacancy sign, I jumped a bit.
But I never have the guts to go in and ask for the job.
I don't know why.

So yesterday, I met with my dad's friend whom's a lecturer in UKM but now he's transferring to UIAM.
I'm so glad I finally met him and his wife.
They told me stuffs that I never knew about.
And now that I know of it, things are getting clearer for me.
I now know what I want.

I know the choice I'm making is not as good as furthering my study as a Doctor, Engineer etc.
But at least I know I'm not gonna be bored by it.
Now I just hope that I can cope with my soon to be "busy" life.
Been chillen at home for almost four months now. Hm.

Realiti

2011-03-21T09:31:00.000-07:00

Salam hormat.
Pada hari yang indah ini, ingin saya umumkan bahawa Rabu ni tibanya masa untuk semua remaja yang berumur 17+ atau 18 tahun dan telah menduduki peperiksaan SPM pada tahun yang lepas untuk menghadapi kenyataan yang mungkin perit bagi sesetengah orang untuk menerimanya mahupun yang confident tahap kambing diorang boleh skor straight As untuk merasakan mimpi mereka telah direalisasikan.
Nasib kalian semua akan ditentukan pada tanggal 23 Mac ini.
Untuk mereka yang mendapat kejayaan umpama Rooney berjaya menendang gol yang menembusi tv HD yang digunakan oleh Lampard, tampallah keputusan anda didalam frame dan sediakan muka lima puluh sen anda yang akan anda lihat dalam Utusan Malaysia pada hari Khamis nanti.
Bagi mereka yang mendapat keputusan yang sekadar cukup makan, jangan risau, hambo mengerti perasaan kalian. Apa yang penting ialah kalian bingkas bangun dan berusaha dengan lebih lagi masa kat kolej/ matriks nanti.
Sekian, terima kasih.

2011-03-03T13:02:00.000-08:00

*Clears throat*

This sore throat is killing me.

Tanggal 1 Maret

2011-02-28T12:28:00.000-08:00

So, it's the end of February.

Nothing big about that.

My life is still the same.

Plain and boring like it was before.

Thank God I have a crazy family that cheers me up.

So this is a random post.

Every month, I don't know why, hormones maybe, I have a certain genre that I would love to listen to over and over again.

Last month, it was Rock so I listened to MCR's Danger Days: True Lives of The Fabulous Killjoys.

Without failing, everyday I'll listen to it.

So now it's the 1st of March.

I've started listening to slow, heartbroken songs.

And I don't even know why.

I don't even have a boyfriend for me to torment myself with. HA HA

Oh, and talking about that, few days ago, my momma asked me "Mira, bila nak ada boyfriend?"

PERLU KE PERLU KE PERLI KE?

The answer I gave stinks with sarcasm.

Come to think about it, I don't even know too.

Is it necessary for a girl my age to have a boyfriend?

I don't think so. This is not the time to get serious with anybody.

For me, if I'm not getting serious with anyone, I'd rather stay single rather than being with a person whom I know that someday I may or may not ever see again.

So yeah.

Back to the topic, I am currently listening to Travis's The Man Who.

I love the lead's voice.

He could put me straight to bed.

But I'm not in bed yet, so maybe I'm wrong (?)

Heh.

Actually, I was thinking about doing a Vlog.

But I'm too lazy to talk infront of a camera, so I'll pass.

Maybe someday I will do a Vlog.

Someday.

I'm the best at procrastinating.

Best things happens when they're unplanned

2011-02-22T13:18:00.000-08:00

It's been quite some time since I've updated my burlogg.

I don't have anything to share since my life is now nothing but pure boredom.

But this evening, two crazy girls came to my house with their personal instructor, cikgu aman and took me for a spin. Well, that doesn't happen on a daily basis.

I now have three drivers. :D

It was fun lepaking with them.

Dulu semua sibuk pasal UPSR.

Skrg masing masing dah besar tapi tak panjang nye punn.

Guess I am the last to update on my blog eh @azaliaazhar and @ezralsya

Well, I had a great time with you guys.

Next time, aku pulak datang pickup korang k.

Kunanti dikau di Mahligai Syahdu.

*merepek

Harini karangan saya berasaskan Bahasa Manglish

2011-02-18T09:57:00.000-08:00

Tadi baru jumpa gambar last year.

Zaman budak sekolah.

Masa tu semua sakai gila text

" Eh, esok tak payah datang lah"

" Datang lah jom. Last day sebelum SPM koot"

" Ok, I datang"

" Ok."

Masa tu mmg semua tak ingat nak belajar.

Konon cuak nak spm minggu depan so semua bawak buku latihan.

BAWAK JE. Buat pun tidak. Haha.

Good old days.

Masa last year semua living in denial, "NO, I'm not gonna miss this school. As a matter of fact, I'm f*kin glad I'm leaving this school"

In the end, semua rindu. So tak payah korang semua nak pure pura benci sekolah.

Sekolah mmg sucks. Tapi memories korang, dgn kawan2 tak suck at all.

Infact, bila teringat balik pasal buat kerja mengarut, tersengih jugak sengsorang.

Suka hati mak bapak kitorang je keluar masuk sekolah. HAHA

Well, all that is over now.

We must all grow up and need to start to be serious about our future. *ceh

Ok bye.

Something fun to do?

2011-02-06T13:24:00.000-08:00

So last week, I spent the whole week at Singapore.

Lepak-ed a lot with kak noreen&nanijhan. Not to mention meeting rauf for so many time till he got bored with me. Haha. He's so hyperactive now, which is a good thing.

He's becoming more cheeky-er by the day. I miss him so much.

So enough about that. Current updates in my life:

Nothing much is going on. I REALLY need to get a job.

Staying at home makes me go GAGA in a bad way.

But I don't know how. Everything seems to have a problem like where would I work? and how do I get there? is it okay for me to leave my mom alone at home?

Too many questions. I've got a plan.

But the plan will costs me something. Everything has a price to pay so maybe it'll not be a big deal.

Oh, and guess what? BRUNO MARS IS COMING TO MALAYSIA!!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG*buat muka stewie

I'm psyched mann. His album Doo wops and Hooligans is awesome.

But there is this one particular track that bothers me the most.

It's called Marry You.

The lyrics sounded so wrong.

I mean do you really love the girl or are you just THAT wasted to go get married in a small chapel without your friends and family.

Dear Bruno,

That's not romantic.

I may not fully understand the core of the song but I tried listening to it for a few times but it just doesn't seem to connect to me.

Marrying someone isn't dumb.

And if it's really a beautiful night, why don't you go and lay underneath an oak tree and stare at the stars :B.

I don't know. Maybe that's his Naughty side which he wants to express in his album.

I don't know.

Apart from that, I LOVE his album. It has a reggae-ish touch.

Oh and did I mention this, he collaborated with Damien Jr. Gong Marley. PERFECT.

Enough talking about that.

It's 5.40 a.m. and I'm off to someplace else. My dreamland. Haha.

Ciao.

Aktiviti Paranormal

2011-01-08T10:50:00.000-08:00

Just finished watching it just now.

Banyak elemen mengejutkan tapi tak seram pun. *tipu sikit

The only part that freaked me out is when all the cupboard burst open.

Which part? Go and see it for yourself. If you want to spend RM10 watching home videos/ security cameras of a suburban family being harassed by evil spirits(wtf)

I mean its kinda ridiculous. I wonder why my sister was so excited.

But yeah, the movie was okay. I would recommend you to watch some other movies though.

so here comes my whine of the day; *drum rolls*

THE ANNOYING PART WAS....

I have my own narrator. She f'in narrates all the scene, it was utterly, no, f'inly annoying.

"Eee budak tu kena tarik bang!" "Bang tengok bang pintu tu terbukak"

I mean, she literally speak as though she was in D'kayu lepak minum teh tarik -_-

I bet her boyfriend, too was annoyed. I mean come on, you're watching the movie in a theatre not to mention A PUBLIC PLACE so of course there would some other people watching the movie as well. And nobody f'in pays you to f'in narrate the movie. GOSH.

I guess I'm just too pissed off.

Luckily, the movie was only for two hours if not I'd shove something in her mouth.

Perhaps a Nike size 6. That'd be nice.

Peter piper pick a pocket full o pennies

2010-12-14T08:44:00.000-08:00

So, today I went to Metro Driving Academy with Aliya sebab nak belajar kereta.

The class was -____________- *no comment

Glad those 5 hours are over.

Next week, I'll take the highway code test. Kinda excited.

Enough about cars.

Let's talk about $$$.

KA-CHING.

Do you really think money is important in life?

If you said no, you should go and check yourself into a mental hospital.

Living in this modern world, the 2 Millenium, you really really need money.

The amount depends on what you use your money for.

I think it's okay for you to splurge yourself sometimes.

Treat yourself with a new purse, gadgets, cosmetics etc.

Do it occasionally. Not all the time.

Unless if you have a whole life supply of money in the bank.

It's not good for you to waste your money.

Especially if it's your parents.

Don't you pity them?

Working hard as hell to bring home some ka-chings for you to buy something you don't really need. What if you were your parents and your parents did the same thing to you.

What would you do?

Frankly speaking, I don't know anything about money.

All I know is that it is so valuable that it can costs you a life.

Think about it

IT'S OVER

2010-12-09T19:44:00.001-08:00

Not so glad. But I'm glad. GAHH.

3756/1 3756/2

2010-12-08T16:30:00.000-08:00

Ok, so today I'll be sitting for my last paper for this year(2010) which is Accounts.

Feelings are mixed. Nervous, glad, almost relieved at the same time.

Pn. Lalita wants me to get an A. But I'm no pro in accounts.

But I'll try my best. Okay teacher? :)

So, yeah, wish me a big bunch of luck and I'll see you soon.

I WIN YOU LOSE

2010-11-02T06:51:00.000-07:00

Losing is never a man's favourite prize.

But sometimes, losing makes you realize the things that needs to be done to improve yourself.

It's okay to lose sometimes.

But if it's all the time, you tend to get bored with life and BANG suicide.

For myself, I'm okay with losing.

Not saying that I'm a loser.

But I accept my fate the way it's meant to be.

Though I know sometimes I can do better.

But now, I never want to lose again.

I'm a winner. Fuckyeah.

Infact, EVERYBODY'S A WINNER.

If you have a family. You're a winner.

If you go to school. You're a winner.

If you're homeless, you're a winner too. I guess.

Well, life is unpleasant sometimes.

But it makes our journey more interesting.

So, I'm gonna savour the moment while it lasts.

The sun is creeping up like tick tock (bukan ke$ha)

2010-10-26T20:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, so today I'm not gonna talk about love and all those gayshits.
Let's talk about HATE.

"I hate you!"
"I hate this country!"
"I hate my friends"
"I hate it when my french fries has too much salt"
"I hate it when my milkshake is too milky"

All those stuffs.
What makes you really hate someone?
I have my reasons. And I know that my reasons are fair enough.
How about you?

So yesterday, I stay up late chatting with my girl, Nab.
We kinda discussed our hatred on this particular someone.
It's a natural feeling. The feeling of victory when you find out that your friend and you has mutual enemy.
Turns out this enemy has been doing shit to her.
That makes me hate him even MORE.

Truth is, I've tried to accept him as a friend.
But he would always find a way to somehow make me hate him even more.
So thank you. For letting everyone you know, knows that you're an asshole.

Enough of that.

So today, I didn't go to school.
Its been two days. Only two days je tau HIHI
I like studying late at night.
So I ended up waking up from bed at noon.
But sometimes I get sick early in the morning.
No, not morning sickness 'tards.
I sneezes a lot in the morning.
And that makes me feel lifeless.

Oh well. I'm gonna stop right here.

Less than three.

2010-10-24T08:43:00.000-07:00

Whenever you go then i'll be waiting
Whenever theres loneliness your hating.
Whenever you say you wish you never left me.
I'll say "I told you so"

It's almost 12 midnight and I have the strong urge to post something on my blog.
Well, today was okay.
Window-shopped all around OU.
OU is getting kinda boring though.
But still, it feels kinda homie. Or. Atleast I thought it would be.

At the food court, I saw this reaally old couple that makes me go Awww.
Seriously, it's magical knowing that you can really love a person more than A DECADE.
And yes, I did post about this before on my Tumblr.
But love is something that can be post even ten thousand times.

I'm not in love.
But I'm in love with Love.
The power of love. Haha. Celine Dion. Amazing singer :')

But love is all about meeting the right person and staying with them no matter how annoying they could be.
Family love.
It's what it's all about.

Night peeps.

Dekat dah.

2010-10-22T08:04:00.000-07:00

Last two nights I had this terrible nightmare.

Involves something about my future.

And until now, it kinda freaks me out.

I dreamed that I only got 1A and 9Bs for my SPM.

Horror.

And now, I'm somehow traumatized because as far as I know, most of my dreams kinda come true.

But sometimes it happens in the opposite way.

Something like Dejavu, I guess.

But if it's meant to be. I will accept it.

I'm not saying I'm giving up or something.

I'm gonna work my ass off for this last exam.

And whatever results I get, it's something that I may or may not deserve.

It's complicated. I know.

I'm still afraid though.

Trials is over.

Metaphorically, I've been slapped so hard that I can't feel my cheeks.

Kinda means that I did real bad.

The useless As I got are, useless.

And just now, Pn. Arnida gave us some motivational speech.

It makes me realize how close the gabs are till 23 November.

I just wish I could turn back time and do what I'm supposed to do.

But if I did force myself to study all the time, I'd never have those precious memories.

The ones that I share with my loved ones.

I'm not willing to sacrifice my life just for the sake of what, Gaji Besar?

Money isn't everything.

You just need enough money to provide for yourself and your family.

Free rides

2010-10-20T05:31:00.001-07:00

Life has been pretty much bumpy lately ever since my trials have finished.

There's a day that I could get through oh so happily, and the other ones, mm, not so much.

Anyhoos, SPM is getting near. YES retards, I am fuckin nervous.

But on the other side, I can't wait for it to be over.

Get away from all the pressuring moments and places.

Venue: SMK Seksyen 4, Kota Damansara

Date: 23 November 2010- 9 December 2010

**Bring along all your weapons, cuz this is gonna get real ugly.

They should put something like that depan sekolah. Haha.

Atleast it would cheer our days rather than feeling like we're in somewhat a prison.

I do kinda think school is my personal prison, and the best thing about it is that I love my cellmates.

They're crazy, fun, annoying and more. It's indescribable.

It's upsetting to know that we're gonna finish school real soon.

It's kinda a breath of fresh air but then, I've gotta find a new place for me to lepak with my friends.

Well, that's life.

The common question that people asks me lately is;

So, dah plan ke nak sambung study kat mana?

At first, I would answer, Yes, I do. *Dengan muka confident.

But when I rethink about it. My actual answer is No.

No one knows where I'm gonna go, as the matter of fact, nobody knows what lies for their future.

Life's a guessing game. 1/10 you may guess it right, but most of the times it's a dark tunnel roller-coaster ride.

You never know what lies ahead.

Always think positive.

No matter what happens, good things are stored for good people.

So yeah, kalau tak buat dosa, buat pe takut?

Keep faith to yang Maha Esa.

He'll know what's best for you.

All we can really say is Alhamdulillah.

Be thankful for the things that we have.

Then we'll have a blissful life.

Off with their heads

2010-10-16T02:02:00.000-07:00

Dangg, lama tak update blogger HAHA.

Well, benda utama yang hendak disampaikan is... Jeng jeng jeng.

I've cut my hair. Yes, my long and curly precious hair.

Its short now. But I'm not whether it's still curly or not.

Yesterday I watched Sammy's Adventures.

I LOVE the soundtracks cuz they used two Bruno Mars' single :D

Oh well, malas nak cerita panjang lagi.

Goodbye.

Jared Leto is my potato?

2010-10-07T22:59:00.000-07:00

His eyes ♥

Bohemian Rhapsody

2010-10-07T06:05:00.000-07:00

talking to the sun

2010-10-07T03:57:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah. Today is the day where my trials finished [ Lah sangat].

Still have my accounts paper left. But who cares.. Its almost ovah babyy. *excited

Still counting down the days to SPM?

I'm not. All that I know is that there's only a month left.

How many days? Nahh, I don't be bothered.

Just now, at school, we, Ulfah, Ummi, Anis and me were somehow too lazy to study and ended up dreaming about our future lives.

What we would be. Where would we go and some other stuffs.

Oh and guess what, my friends are excited to see what my boyfriend looks like. HAH. *sarcastic much guys?

Well, I'm not really planning on that.

Kalau ada, ada lah..

Kalau tak, its okay its alrightt :D

We're supposed to go to school tomorrow.

But everyone ended up planning on 'ponteng'in since there's no paper tomorrow.

HAHA good guys. Reaaally good.

So let's have a great weekend of *ahem Studying Accounts.

KHEM AH CAI

2010-10-06T00:17:00.000-07:00

Chemistry was as hard as shit. HAHA.

"Ye ah kau bodoh study last minute" "Hey tu cara aku, aku pe suka ah"

Study last minute, or what I'd prefer to call, Last Minute Revision memang tak bagus.

But it helps me to remember more easily.

Today paper, Chemistry atau nama sebenar Khem Ah Cai.

Paper 1 diaaaa fulamak, gila best. Dapat terus tidur. Haha.

Tak ah,

buat dulu baru tidur.

That's my motto.

Semakin hari semakin dekat dengan tarikh 23/ 11/ 2010.

I'm not ready yet. But for this?

Fakin yeah! Cepat lah birthday saya mari.

Tak sabar nak tiup birthday candles and make a wish!

PHY-SUCKS

2010-10-05T04:30:00.000-07:00

So here's what I did for Physics [Paper 2]

10.30- Got the paper from teacher

Stare at the questions for 5 minutes

10.35- Started scribbling using pencil. Wrote every single sentence that I could think of.

10.55- Stare at my classmates. Admiring the way they answer their paper. [at this time, i realized that there was an ant in my water bottle]

11.00- Started to write the REAL answers using pen. Left all the calculations.

11.20- Stare at the questions in Section B

11.23- Stare at the questions in Section C

11.25- Started writing on my test pad. Wrote as much as possible.

11.50- Finished everything except for calculations. And transistor.

Tried to sleep for 10 minutes. But failed. So I ended up staring. Again.

12.00- Went to the toilet using cikgu sam's pass.

Managed to kill about 10 minutes.

12.11- Started exploring formulaes. Kiu equals to EmCee Tey Tah.

12.20- Finished everything.

Then, stared at my water bottle with a swimming ant in it for about 15 mins.

12.35- Bongkar pencil box. And ridiculously decided to play with highlighters.

10 minutes later, I literally have green fingers.

Then, I spend another 15 minutes staring at my classroom. And at the same time, Resistance was playing at the back of my head.

Curse you Bellamy. Meh sini jadi cikgu physics.

Boleh tak?

NEEDS

2010-10-05T04:27:00.000-07:00

I really think I need to start blogging balik.

Just reasons.

I am so depressed and I need to let it all out.

SPM dihujung jalan. 48 more days. OMGOMGOMG.

And jawapan common pelajar SPM #818 - Err, tak ready lagi lah.

Damn. I really need to start focusing on my studies.

A month of torture and then I'll get what I've always needed since I was a baby.

A pacifier. HAHA tak ah LESEN LESEN LESEN.

Something for me to get excited for after SPM.

Kalau tak, lepas SPM nak buat apa?

People won't change

2010-08-20T09:14:00.000-07:00

No they won't.

But they will if something tragic happens to them.

I'm not hoping for something bad.

I just wish she would realize.

What she is losing. Nothing much to gain if you lose your dearest friends.

Unless, we're considered her part-time friend.

Hey, wait, why am I talking about her.

Geez, she's nothing to me.

She doesn't even exist.

Well, this is the last post for her.

I do really hope you'll change.

Someday.

And when you do, don't expect me to be there for you.

Because what you did to us, is the most selfish thing ever.

It's not me, It's you

2010-08-09T03:54:00.000-07:00

You were the one who wanted a shoulder to cry on, so I gave you mine.
You wanted someone you could talk to, so I lend you my ears.

As a friend, I'm not expecting anything in return.
But your actions are making me feel sick.
I am sick of you. You told me you were over him.
Like SO SO SO over him.
But look what happened now..
You are willing to ignore your friend just for the sake of that guy.

Great. Just great.
Never knew that friends would do that to one another.

You know what.
People thought you were annoying.
So did I. But I loved you still.
I tried coping and accepting you for who you are.
But when I heard stories. About you using my name. Lying to your parents and so on, that pisses me off.
PLease don't make me look bad in front of your parents.
My parents didn't teach me all those stuffs.

I wish I could just turn back time and do what I have to.
I guess not only boys I should be aware of. Girls too.

Homosapiens are born to make a fool out of themselves.
That is why God created Earth.
It's a stage where all the people act.
No exceptions.

And again, I truly want to say how disappointed I am with you.

I hope you'll changed.

Force of Nature

2010-07-21T04:47:00.001-07:00

You cannot force people to do something when they are not willing to do so.
If you force it, the result you'll get is.. Nothing.
Pressures work for some people. But not me.
I tend to work poorly under pressures.

It's bad. I know. But it's the way I roll.
And from my view, working under pressure is not good.
When you work under pressure, you'll force yourslef to finish it by hook or by crook even if it means cheating, copying etc.
Well, thats what I do when I'm working under pressure.
It's not wrong.

But the worse thing that could happen is to put other people in pressure with you too.
It's unfair for them. They are innocent.
Atleast, that's what my teacher does.
He is now catching up the syllabus like some crazy robot trying to take over the world in an hour.
Crazy. I know. Feel my pain.
Actually, it was his fault.
He spent atleast three months on the first chapter saying it's important and so on.
But he forgotten about other chapters.

It is very stressful.
But I'll try to push myself to work under pressure.

This world is not the easy breezy kind of world.
Everything is moving forward.
In rapid motion.
I'll have to be fast enough to catch up.
Insya-Allah I can do it.

I've been saving these last words for one last miracle

2010-07-17T08:14:00.000-07:00

As we grow older, our lives changes.
Sometimes, we can't see it. But other people notices it.

For the time being, I am currently confused with my life.
It's not that I don't know what my purpose of living.
It's just that at times, I feel like the reason I am here today is based on some lame excuses that little kids used to make up when they broke something.

What am I talking about?
I don't even know.
I feel like babbling today.

Confused. It is one of my problems.

Other than that, I am having trouble with trying to force myself to stand on my own two feet and correct the right from wrongs.
I do have the will, but I'm lack of confidence.
Where to get it? I don't know.

But yeah, surprisingly, I am not feeling confident at all with myself.
I may seem tough on the exterior.
But internally, I am so vulnerable.
I hate it.

I cry when people are not looking. Not that I'm embarassed to cry infront of them.
It's just that I don't like other people to feel my pain.
Everyone has their own problem.
And it's unfair for me to complain everything about my life to them.

I wish there was a cure for every sickness in this world.
Oh, wait, there are.
I just have to search for it.

And yes, I am on my way to search for it.
Like Indiana Jones.
I'm all geared up.

Think twice before you say you love me

2010-07-15T05:53:00.001-07:00

Love consists of four letters. Simple and sweet.
But it gives you a very deep meaning.
I have never known what love is.
All that I know is that love is what strengthen the bonds between families and friendships.

I have never been in love before.
And no, I am not trying to complain about my pathetic life.
I am being optimistic. At the same time, I am curious too.
Can you really love someone that much till you are willing to die for her/him?

I've never felt that way before for any guy.
Well, there was this one dude, but it was just a crush.
Yet, I did shed a few tears for him.
It wasn't his fault. I was being dumb.

Whatever it is, that part of me is over.
I am stronger now. I know how to take a good care of my feelings.
The secret is to never hope too high.
Like every girl's dream. I wish to find a nice guy, get the idea of love, and marry him someday.
But the world is cruel nowadays.

I'm not saying that all the boys aren't good enough.
I'm just saying that there are temptations.
Ones that you can't resist.
Even when you try so hard, you can still feel so caught up with that feeling.

So how do we avoid that kind of stuffs?
As a human being, we can't avoid.
Somewhere, somehow, we'll always be tempted to do wild things.
But before doing that, think about the consequences.
What will happen to family, friends etc.

But hey, we're still a bunch of immatured teenagers.
Rules are meant to be broken at this stage.

I did so many bad things this year.
Its not that bad. Its just not that nice.
But I kinda feel like regretting it.
I don't know. I'm not a saint.

All I know is that;
Faith will always be with me. Or atleast I hope so.
If he's with me. Then InsyaAllah, I'll have a safe trip on my journey to Al-Mizan.

Reasons

2010-07-11T23:03:00.000-07:00

If you want reasons, I have tons.
Everybody has their own reasons.
For example: Edward Cullen, his reason for his existence was Bella etc.
Some reasons are rational and can be accepted. But not all.

Just like sayings.
Some people want to be heard.
But their voice wasn't loud enough so they can't express what they feel.
Or atleast, let people know what kind of pressure they're suffering.

Like myself, I have my own reasons, sayings, and stories.
Unlike those people who have people dying to hear their stories, mine is pretty much boring. Unattractive. Causes people to sleep even when they're sleeping.
But it's important. For me.

Everything matters in this world.
Even when we rebelliously say I don't give a fuck about what they say.
Truth is, you do. Even in the slightest way.
Everyone has their own stories in life.
Some stories were heard.
And some aren't.

But what we don't is that, we may have the same problem.
Like having mutual friends on Facebook.
We have mutual problems.
But whatever it is. This is my blog.

I am going to tell/write/type/scream/shout/curse anything I want here.
Because I know, all my experiences are important for me.
I am the one who is living my life.
Knowing and facing and loving all the nooks and crannies in my life.
If I was busy bothering about someone else's life.
What is going to happen to mine right?

KERJA RUMAH YANG DILONGGOKKAN

2010-07-05T06:43:00.001-07:00

HAHA MALAS.

Oh My Gosh

2010-07-04T09:40:00.000-07:00

Usher oh Usher!
I've got your tixs in my pockets. But I have no one to accompany me to see you. :(
But it's okay. I'll go alone even if I have to.
And the next day, its Eclipse. Wish you did your concert on Saturday night.
But whatever it is. Its final. I'm going. By hook or by crook.

KAYU KAYU KAYU KAYU

2010-07-03T07:34:00.000-07:00

sempena hari earth day yang diwar-warkan dengan dahsyat sekali pada tahun ini, i've decided to let the woods take over my background. talking about woods, i still haven't got the chance to watch toy story 3. fuck. i feel so pathetic. but whatever it is. spm still matters the most to me. or atleast, for right now. after this, i'll do what i want to please myself. but itu cuma harapan dan kenangan yang lambat laun akan hancur diremuk oleh beban-beban kehidupan aku sebagai seorang manusia yang mempunyai kewajipan sebagai seorang anak, kakak, cucu, cicit, anak sedara, kawan, murid, budak tuition etc.
apapun yang terjadi, aku akan tetap berjuang agar aku dapat mencapai cita-citaku. ya, aku masih rasa bertanggungjawab eventhough at times i seem to be conquered by recklessness and laziness.
so yeah. i'm gonna make a change. people will see it. or they may not. its up to them. i don't give a shit. call me kerek. bitch, please.. i don't care. i have my kerekness and at the same time, my awesomeness-meter goes up too.

bitch, please!

2010-07-03T07:32:00.001-07:00

i am so sorry if i have a bad attitude.
but its me.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I'm not- Kurt Cobain

shitty life of mine

2010-07-02T09:21:00.000-07:00

trying to fix it
but everytime i tried it won't come together
figuring out a way
too many shit on my brain and i can't even think
thinking about more ideas
more shit comes to my mind
planning a plan
i lost the paper after drawing it
writing some notes
about how to go through this life
staring at the moon
and the moon is staring back feeling gloomy as i do
sitting in front of the pc
hope that i could find something stupid that could cheer me up

2010-07-02T09:14:00.000-07:00

fuck. thats the word thats on my mind right now.
i hate pressures. a little pressure is good for you or so she says.
damn. i feel like banging my head on the wall.
or maybe go bungee jumping. mnyampah tgk muka cibai tu.
yes i am so fckin pissed off right now.
keje si gemuk tu nak cekik duit org je. babi.
lepas tu besar pe penipu siak. complain kat parents macam2.
i never knew going to tuition could be this stressful.
maybe kat tempat tuition minah ni je yang aku terasa macam keparat walaupun aku tahu aku bukan keparat. babi.
i feel like slapping her big fat jiggly (bukan kim kardashian)'s ass.

I

2010-06-21T02:34:00.000-07:00

It's been quite some days/hours/minutes scratch it all, AGES since i've updated my blog.
Oh and i'm gonna change all my capital 'I's into little 'i'. Like Rudyard Kipling. "Whats so special about i." That's where he's wrong. Guess he was a person that lacked of self-confidence. HA HA.
Look who's talking. It's as if my self-esteem is very high -_- I do really wish it was. I wish I have the guts to tell the person who I used to like that I 'used' to like him. I wish I could just tell off to that asshole. All sorts of wishes. But they're just wishes. Some will come true and some may not.
But when the thing is over. It's over. There's no turning back. I've had that feeling before. REGRETS. But still, the feeling will happen again like "Here We Go Again".

Okay otak dah blank tak tahu apa nak tulis. <- I hate this feeling -____-"

formspring.me

2010-05-25T00:58:00.001-07:00

Target then shoot http://formspring.me/namirayaxxid

Thoughts

2010-05-07T19:27:00.000-07:00

Just because you pray five times a day doesn't make you the most perfect person on earth.

2010-04-30T19:33:00.001-07:00

I'm in love with a boy next door.
Is it true?

Keep on trying

2010-04-30T19:24:00.000-07:00

Too many hearts were broken this week. And I'm not liking it.
I hate seeing the people I love cries for the people that they love.
Its just too painful for me to see it. Or deal with it.
I'd rather fill this world with happiness even if it means I have to stay sad rather than the other way around because if there's lots of people that is living and staying happy all the time, then, all the sadness can go away. Easy as that. Or atleast that is what I wish it could be.
There's just too many pain in this world so don't let it suffer more.
Poor her. She suffers a lot.

Oh and Ego.
EGO ; Definition

the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.
Seems like an easy word to understand. Its just three letters, easy to pronounce.
But very hard to deal with.
Saw Muizz's Formspring today.
Someone told him that he's an egoistic person.
Yes he does. That is what made him to be him today.
But guys have ego. Tons of 'em.
While girls, hmmm, only a few of them.
I'm not saying that ego is bad for you.
But I'm not saying it's good. :|
But usually girls would always give in or surrender to the guys.
That is just human nature.

But is it true?
I don't know.
People can change.
That I know.

This sore throat is killing me.

2010-04-28T22:36:00.000-07:00

And so are you.

Release the Kraken

2010-04-28T08:07:00.000-07:00

Awake.

2010-04-28T07:59:00.000-07:00

Today, I finally realized what I want to do with my life.
How to make it more meaningful than it used to be.
The only way is that I have to work hard and hoping that luck would always stand beside me.
Heck yeah, I need all the luck I could get to achieve what I want in life.
I was unlucky before and I hope that it won't happen again.
Besides, things can change. Right? Right?

Today, I feel like I finally found a light in the dark, creepy tunnel that I've been living in for the past couple of years.
Knowing your goals makes it easier for you to focus your main reason for living this life.
I admit, I was confused before this. Though I thought it was normal to be confused before SPM, something hits me. Like a tremendous bus running over a tiny cat. Or like a tide of slap straight to my cheek. I don't want to be confused anymore.
I must know what I want. What I need.
And yeah, I can really say that I'm Awake now.

Its been awhile

2010-04-28T07:58:00.000-07:00

Again.

Fear,

2010-04-05T23:55:00.000-07:00

Flowers don't live forever. They wilt every single time when it's their time. They knows it. So does human. When it's time to go, they'll go. Some get the chance to say goodbye and some didn't even have a chance to ask for forgiveness.

Now I'm always scared of what might happen to me every other minute. Life is unpredictable. We can't predict it. But He can. He writes all our story. Every single one of us. Happy stories. Tragedies. Deaths. Failures.

But the one I fear the most is Death. You can never know when it's your turn. People die. They live and say goodbye. It's a fact that you can never change. But how will life end? That's what I worry the most. The thought of having to leave this world without saying goodbye to the ones I love fears me the most.

I am not prepared yet. But when its my turn. I'll leave in peace. Willingly. I do. So now I must cherish all the moments that I have with my family and friends. Because like they said;

Everyday is a gift.

I wake up in the morning everyday saying Alhamdulillah. Thank God I am still alive. Still able to meet and hang out with my loved ones. Yes Pn. Arnida. I do it too. Something snapped me back to reality lately. I don't know what it is. But I kind of like it.

Hide it with a Fake Smile

2010-04-05T03:10:00.000-07:00

Cause you'll never know when till it's your turn.

formspring.me

2010-03-31T06:19:00.001-07:00

Let's get friendly, http://formspring.me/NamiraYaxxid

YAWW AW AW AW.

2010-03-26T22:03:00.000-07:00

EARTH HOUR TONIGHT.
GET STOKED BABEH!
LET'S VOTE FOR OUR EARTH.

I LOVE U EARTH!

DEEP DOWN FROM MY HEART,
NAMIRA Y.

HOW TO FEEL?

2010-03-23T01:21:00.000-07:00

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW.
I FEEL SICK. LIKE REALLY SICK.
BUT I DON'T EFFING KNOW WHAT IT IS.
DAMNNN.
I HATE HAVING TO MISS SCHOOL. AND FRIENDS.
FRIENDS. :D

AGHHHHHH.
THE PILLS AREN'T WORKING.
WHAT DOES IT TAKES FOR ME TO FEEL BETTER AGAIN?
FINDING SOLUTION.
TYPING IN THE GOOGLE BOX.

....
TIT
.......
TEET
........
SEARCHING..
...

.............

NONE!
:O

LIFE SUCKS.
I GUESS

PHYSICS OH PHYSICS

2010-03-20T02:36:00.000-07:00

AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SCREAMING MY LUNGS OUT.
HAMEK KAU.
KAME HAMEHAAAAAA.

TAKE MY FIREBALL PHYSICS!

PEHAL NGAN MINAH NI?
TAH AKU TGK DIA COOL JE TADI.
BABI BABI BABI.
UNSTABLE.

JANGAN BACA POST NI. SUMPAH SERENG.

NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP-RICKASTLEY MEREPEK CRAP BULLSHIT APA NI?

2010-03-20T02:20:00.000-07:00

HAD AN ARGUMENT WITH YOU DONT WANT TO KNOW WHO AND THIS COMES TO MY MIND.
CAN A GUY REALLY INFLUENCE YOU THAAAAAAAAAAAAAT MUCH?

EX :
-)NAIKKAN GRADES
-)MAKES YOU SMARTER
-)JADIKAN KAU GENIUS

ETC.

CAN THEY CAN THEY?
ITS NOT THAT I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
ACTUALLY MMG TAK PERCAYA PUN.
CAKAP KOSONG LEBIH.
CAN THEY REALLY SUPPORT YOU?
EVEN WHEN YOU ARE IN DIPSHIT TROUBLE?
BOLEH KE?
BOLEH KE?
AND BOLEH KE BE TOGETHER FOREVER?
FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER???
KALAU MATI NANTI PUN SORANG2 KAN?
SO BUAT PE NAK TAKSUB SGT DENGAN CINTA MONYET NI?
BELAJAR AA SELF CONFIDENCE.
TO THIS VERY PARTICULAR PERSON
YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING WITHOUT HIM.
I'M NOT SAYING YOU'RE STUPID.
YOU ARE JUST BEING STUPID.
KALAU KAU BODOH, MMG DARI DULU KAU DAH MASUK SKOLAH BUDAK TERENCAT OTAK AKAL ETC.
KAU BOLEH SBNARNYA. SELF CONFIDENCE.
JANGAN TAKSUB DGN CINTA.

LAKI BERJUTA BHAI KAT DUNIA NI.
TAPI 50% HOMO.
SO KITA KENA CARI BETUL2.
TAKYAH NAK RUSH.
BELUM NAK KIAMAT LAGI. (!)
YAWW 2012 TU PE DOH? 0.0

HAH.
TAKPE.
LEPAS GERAM.
FUH.
LEGANYA.

This time baby I'll be bulletproof.

2010-03-04T21:23:00.001-08:00

Fuck yeah.
My brother sings that song most of the times.
Its kind of irritating but that song means some thing(s).

Random crap of the month:
Let's go to Disneyland.

LOL.

;(

2010-03-04T10:39:00.000-08:00

babi. phone aku dah rosak. :(

I kept asking why

2010-03-04T10:24:00.000-08:00

But nobody has the answer.
Why must it always be me?
Why am I the one to be blame?
I am so so so tired.
I've got other pressures too.
Do you want me to pop my head open and die?
Seriously, if you want to, say it to my face.
Whats the use of having you around not to help me?
I don't know whether to hate you or not.
I can't hate you. I can't hate people anymore.
And that's my weakness.
I do feel like giving up. Most of the time. Feels like I've got no strength left in me.
But faith helps me get through it. Not you.
People have problems. I know you do.
But don't you think I have my own problems too?
Why don't you try, for once, to have a heart.
People say revenge is sweet. I'm too lazy to set my plans.
Hopefully you'll realize me sooner or later.

P/s: You are killing me deep inside.

formspring.me

2010-03-03T02:06:00.001-08:00

Sayang Mawi lagi tak? hahrhagrh

buat pe nak sayang. kan dia dah ada bini. biorle bini dia sayang dia. haha.

Let's get friendly,

formspring.me

2010-03-03T02:05:00.001-08:00

Are you going to the Placebo's concert ? and If you're not do you wanna go ?

Nope :( I wanna go but I'm not Dying to go. :|

Let's get friendly,

formspring.me

2010-03-02T00:08:00.003-08:00

Let's get friendly, http://formspring.me/NamiraYaxxid

formspring.me

2010-03-02T00:08:00.001-08:00

Are you a fan of Adam Lambert? Explain why.

Yes I am. But I'm not his biggest fan. I just liked his songs. They're catchy.
p/s: I know who you are. :P

Let's get friendly,

When I tell you I wanna rock with you means I'm telling the truth

2010-02-27T05:25:00.000-08:00

No lies. I hate lies.
Lies worsens a problem.
You'll lie after a lie and lie and lie. .... ....
It will never stop.
So, never tell people lies.
Its better.
Feels so good when you don't have to pretend around the people you love.

formspring.me

2010-02-27T05:19:00.001-08:00

Would you rather swim in a pool or the ocean?

Both. But the ocean may freak me out a lil' bit.

Let's get friendly,

formspring.me

2010-02-27T05:18:00.001-08:00

What was the worst place you've traveled to?

You really wanna know? K*******. Sorry but I had a very bad experience there that involves my mum.

Let's get friendly,

formspring.me

2010-02-27T05:17:00.001-08:00

What's the most unselfish thing you've ever done?

Can't recall. I don't think about the good deeds I've done. It's not good.

Let's get friendly,

My Name Is Khan.

2010-02-19T08:06:00.000-08:00

The movie was great.
The message that they tried to send was brilliant.
It was all about love, sacrifices, willingness, patience, etc. and most importantly to always have faith when it comes to fighting for your right.
Without those things, you can never live the perfect life.
You may own lots of money, but you'll lack of love. Or vice versa.
But love is important.
To find money all you need is hardwork.
But to find love, its never easy and when you found it, don't let go.
Appreciate it. Because love is the greatest thing on earth besides faith.
Ive also learnt that to be successful, let nothing hold you down.
By successful, I mean achieving your goals.
Its not important for you to have live the lifestyle of rich and famous.
Being average is good. Good enough. Its more balanced.
And that the only barrier that is shoving you away from your dreams are yourself.
So, think of what you want.
Set your goals.
I am trying to do that too.
Right now I'm facing with a few problems.
Most of them are minors.
But there's this one major problem.
And I'll try to find a way to overcome it.
InsyaAllah.

My name is Namira and I am not a terrorist.

Thoughts.

2010-02-19T02:38:00.000-08:00

They said that unity unites us all. Well, maybe that's true but I don't know how true it is.
It may seem easy knowing that all the people in Malaysia can live together.
No fights, no war.
Harmony. Yes. Harmony.
But what about our heart?
Do we really really, deep down in our hearts, like the way Malaysia is currently.
Or do you wish for it to be different?
For me, I am grateful that Malaysia the way she is. I loved her since I was born.
Before I even knew her. Well, maybe that's a lie.
But it's my destiny to be born in Singapore, but loved Malaysia instead.
So I accept it the way it is.
But the thing that I really like to change about our country is the citizen's thoughts.
The future of the country lies within the people who lives in it.
Just like your home.
If you decorate it perfectly, it'll be a nice home. Vice versa.
Malaysia has lots of uniqueness in her.
If you don't believe me, look around you.
You can see many types of people.
Different skin colours, Different features etc.
We're Unique. The Malaysians are unique.
So why must we argue with each other about our uniqueness?
Yeah, some may be dark and some may be tan.
Some may have tiny eyes, some have beautiful round eyes.
Which ever way it is. We are all beautiful if deep down inside we hope for the right thing.
That's why I'm not embarassed to say I love Malaysia.
I love this country.
Eventhough there are some critical problems going on, like the politics and our economies and so on. That I don't really want to talk about. Because its the least I know about Malaysia.
And I'm not planning to dig deeper.
Its actually easy how our ancestors had set the example.
They let us learn thingS and correct the wrong to right.
But No. They want to make their own history.
Then, WHAT'S THE USE OF US CRAMPING OUR HEADS STUDYING HISTORY WHEN WE KNOW WE'RE GONNA MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE ALL OVER AGAIN?
Hopefully they'll realize this and change. Sooner or later.

Isn't it easy.

2010-02-19T02:37:00.000-08:00

Fyuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Lama tak update sehhhhh.
Now, I'm back on track.
Ready with fresh new ideas.

Inspired

2010-01-22T18:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up
we're hiding behind skin that's too tough
how come we don't say I love you enough
till it's to late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
we could make a feast from these crumbs
and we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
so if your life flashed before you
what would you wish you would've done

Yeah... gotta start
lookin at the hand of the time we've been given here
this is all we got and we gotta start pickin it
every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
gotta live like we're dying

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
turn it all around or throw it all away
we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
while we got the chance to say
gotta live like we're dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies
who would you call with your last goodbyes
should be so careful who we live out our lives
so when we long for absolution
there'll no one on the line

Yeah... gotta start
lookin at the hand of the time we've been given here
this is all we got and we gotta start pickin it
every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
gotta live like we're dying

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
turn it all around or throw it all away
we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
while we got the chance to say
gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying oh-- like we're dying [x2]

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
turn it all around or throw it all away
we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
while we got the chance to say
gotta live -- like we're dying

We never know a good thing till it's gone
you never see a crash until it's head on
all those people right when we're dead wrong
you never know a good thing till it's gone

Yeah... gotta start
lookin at the hand of the time we've been given here
this is all we got and we gotta start livin it
every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
gotta live like we're dying

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
turn it all around or throw it all away
we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
while we got the chance to say
gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying oh -- like we're dying [x2]

We only got
86 400 seconds in a day to
turn it all around or throw it all away
we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
while we got the chance to say
gotta live like we're dying
live like we're dying

2010-01-20T03:59:00.001-08:00

MALEHNYAAAAAAAA.
TAPI MENGADAP DEPAN TV TGGU AMERICAN IDOL TAK MALAS PULAK AN.
DRAMA BUDAK FORM 5 SEHH.

UGH.

SPM.

DOUBLE UGH.

3 BULAN CUTI.

UggHH YEAAHHH.

PLKN.

BODOH.

TAK NAK PLKN!

GRRRR

2010-01-18T00:41:00.000-08:00

FIRST DAY OF THE MONTH SAYA PONTENG SEKOLAH.
HAHA. :D
ADA REASON LAH.PASAL TU PONTENG.
PENAT LARI FOR LARIAN KECERGASAN.
THEN TUITON.
PASTU SWIMMING.
MANA TAK BENGKAK SAKK KAKI.
HAHHAA.
TAPI NAMPAKNYA DAH BERANSUR PULIH.
SO, ESOK DAH BOLEH PEGI SKOLAH KOT.
TEEHEE :0

I THINK

2010-01-13T04:13:00.000-08:00

THE TEACHERS ARE IN A CONTEST.
''WHO GIVES THE MOST HOMEWORKS''
''WHO MAKES A STUDENT LIFE MOST MISERABLE''

HAHAHA.
THIS, I MUST ENDURE.
A YEAR LEFT.
THEN, IT'S A CONTEST FOR ALL THE EX FORM 5s/2010.
''WHO WAKES UP LATE''
''WHO PASS THEIR DRIVING LICENSE''
ETC.

superstition. i like this word. :)

Everything is so surreal.

2010-01-10T22:46:00.000-08:00

Yes it is.
A week ago I was still sixteen, now I'm going on to seventeen.
Yesterday I was spending quality time with families.
During the last hour, I was having a great time mixing solutions with friends.
Now I'm home.
Actually, I was exaggerating, only the first part was meaningful.
The other ones are common things that we do everyday.
Anyways, tomorrow, there will be Biology and Accounts class.
YET, I have not finished my schoolworks and chores.
I hate it when people just look at things easily.
You see, not everything is easy in this world, that's why we have responsibilities.
Everyone help each other and make the difficult things easier.
Don't just let go. Act like it's not your business. It is yours. Enough said.
Take responsibilities on your action.
OH AND BY THE WAY.
I TRIED TO BE NICE TODAY.
BUT HE IRRITATES ME AGAIN.
SMELLING SULPHUR ALL DAY LONG IS BETTER THAN SITTING IN A ROOM WITH HIM.
It's not that I hate him or something, but everything I do seems wrong to him.
WTFWTFWTFWTFWTF.
I AM DOING THE RIGHT THING ASSHOLE.
CURSE YOU.

A walk to remember,

2010-01-07T00:24:00.001-08:00

Read the book, saw the movie.
Love both of 'em.
But the book was better.
It unravels their love story so slowly that you didn't realize that he was already in love with her.
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Thanks Azalia! :D

Look into the sky and hope,

2010-01-07T00:13:00.000-08:00

It's the fourth day of schooling. My van sucks.
The honk goes PONNNNNNNNNN! seriously, its too loud. F
The brake goes EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK! M
The seat is as if I'm sitting on some scrap metals. L
Van yang nama tak boleh disebut SUCKS BIG TIME. !
Anyways, I feel tired of everything. I know, I may be exaggerating but its fact.
People are expecting a lot from 5Amanah. Curse me for being in that class.
But like I said, I'm ready, all weapons up, and this dark battlefield, I stand alone with all my friends, fighting our best. I don't know whats worst.
But all I know is that it'll be over soon.
So, let it have a happy ending.
This, I can endure.
Lots of homeworks, I can survive that too.
But when talks too much about Us, negatively, its unacceptable.
But to tell the truth, I don't give a damn, thats their mouth, and they have the right to talk.
MAYBE, I COULD SHUT THEIR MOUTH UP. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
TAKE THEM DOWN THE EASY WAY. SHALL IT BE A SHOTGUN OR SNIPER?
Hahahaha. I wish it was that easy. :/

I'm putting my foot down.

2010-01-02T03:34:00.000-08:00

FCK MCD KD.
MUNGKIN MCD TU TAK TERUK CUMA PEKERJA JE YANG MALAS NAK MAMPUS.
OH DAMN. TAKPE, TAK HERAN.
KAT SUBANG AIRPORT PUN ADA MCD BARU.
GUA TAK PEDULI.
MCD BERSEPAH BABE.
TAPI STILL RASA KECEWA,UNSATISFIED,BETRAYED ETC. ETC.

This Heart

2009-12-31T13:09:00.000-08:00

If only this blog could get dusty, then it would've been dusty.
Its been quite sometimes since I've updated anything. Yes, I've been busy.
Not studying, but I went out and see the world, but only part of it.
But eventhough its a part, but I felt like I've seen a lot, I guess my tiny mind is too small for more. But yeah, I admit it. Its kinda fascinating. Analyzing people. Trying to guess whats in their head.
Hey, I'm not trying to be Edward Cullen, but it's true, thats kinda my 'part-time hobby.
And yeah, its 2010, everybody keep saying, do you know what you want to be when you grow up? And my answer would be, Umm Yeah. But the truth is, its a big no.
I don't know what I like. Last year, I've put all my hardworks on studying physics, but it turned out to be very disappointing.
And people say don't give up. I don't know whether to believe it or not.
I guess when school reopens, we could find out.
Oh well.

Happy New Year.

2009-12-31T13:06:00.001-08:00

It's time to start a new chapter.

Distasteful

2009-12-07T19:51:00.000-08:00

I cried last night. About what?
I seriously don't know.
Thinking about next year just makes me scared and nervous all the time.
Too many 'what ifs' questions lingering in my head.

broken record

2009-12-06T06:30:00.000-08:00

i'm amazed.
by what?
i don't even know.

Messy.

2009-12-02T06:40:00.001-08:00

I know.

Azalia,

2009-12-01T08:39:00.000-08:00

Click to enlarge.<3

World AIDS Day.

2009-12-01T08:05:00.000-08:00

I never knew what AIDS was all about before I started reading this one particular article.
All I know that people whom is suffering AIDS can spread it easily.
I admit, I used to think bad about people who suffers HIV+.
After reading lots of articles on it, I realize that it wasn't half bad.
Suffering HIV+ is a bad thing, but discriminating it is worser.
I've read that people live their normal lives happily after testing.
It's better to know than to not know.
But sometimes, vice versa is better.
Health is important and it is worth knowing what you're suffering.
Many people in Africa suffer this disease, maybe the people there are less exposed to it.
Thankfully I have learned about it, and I'm proud to wish Happy World AIDS Day.
For there is nothing that can widened our eyes than listening to other people's side of story or suffering it ourselves.

''Today, on World AIDS Day, I call on all of the media to take up this message of hope, spreading the powerful stories of success in the fight against AIDS that are coming from countries around the world. We must stay the course, notwithstanding a global economic crisis and competing domestic priorities, so that we can continue, with our colleagues in the media, to show the positive impact of investments in global health and particularly HIV/AIDS.'' -Jonathan Klein

My tweet says it all.

2009-12-01T01:02:00.000-08:00

Gotta post this.

2009-12-01T01:01:00.000-08:00

Away.

2009-11-18T03:30:00.000-08:00

Away away away.
Singapore here I come.
Prolly for 2 weeks kot.
So, no contacting friends for two weeks. :(
See you guys next year!
tatatatatatatatatatatatatattatatata.

I don't wanna waste my time again, by getting wasted with so-called friends.

2009-11-18T03:29:00.001-08:00

Hey Ho, What do you want from me?

Stoked.

2009-11-16T03:33:00.000-08:00

"In the footage, we see Williams perched on a swing, wearing a white "Alice in Wonderland" dress while Farro digs a grave. Davis plays a knight - complete with a sweet crossbow - and drummer Zac Farro is dressed as an old-timey bank robber, right down to the striped shirt and mask. A young girl wanders through a fantastical forest, a pair of butterfly wings strapped to her back."

More info check out MTVAsia.com

random IV

2009-11-15T01:19:00.000-08:00

i am so bored.
my day even got worser seeing that fucking bastards' face.
ugh.
my knee still hurts. hope it's getting well. soon.
i don't want to see the doctor. what a wuss.
anyways, if i'm feeling well, then, maybe, i'll go to school tomorrow.
i wanna watch the fourth kind.
almost everyone says the movie is creepy.
i wanna see how creepy it is.
and, school is almost over.
but to me, it's already over.
i hate my school.
everything about it is so dull.
can't wait to finish form5.
but sheesh, SPM is coming soon.
goshh. i'm worried sick.
will i do well? terrifying. i know.

Education is a social process. Education is growth. Education is, not a preparation for life; education is life itself. - John Dewey

Please,

2009-11-15T01:12:00.000-08:00

stop bothering me.
don't you know that every word you say hurts me?
i don't fucking like you. so step away.
i hate your company.
you are so fucking annoying. yet you can't realize that.
who are you to fucking criticize me??
take a look at yourself first before fucking judge people.
i don't need a friend like you.
when people talk bad about you, ha, mula lah, keluar muka babi.
but when you talk bad about me, don't you ever think that i have feelings too??
UGHH.
i just hate you.
i hate you even more than I hate Azalia's "bestfriend".
READ THE SIGN DUMBASS.

random III

2009-11-13T03:37:00.000-08:00

I'd rather be friends with people who liked me for who I am.
Seriously.
You won't have to do much.
Less faking, less talking back.
If you're friends because 'you had to' it's ridiculous.
I've tried, and its hard.
I am now trying to accept who I am and the people surrounding me.
And I pretty much liked it.
You should try. Rather than faking you're ass out to like somebody, why don't you just accept them for who they are.
It's better. That's their nature and you can't change them.
If you can't even change yourself, why bother about changing other people's attitude.